I gotta get some personal time.

I am having trouble getting to leave the house alone. I am always forced to bring a child with even though I have a capable husband to watch them. It is making me extremely discouraged. DH discouraged me from going somewhere by myself today because we had "things to get done" around the house, and I also had 4 hours off (to go to HIS brother's baby showeraccompanied by his MOTHER) and I should wait until next week.

I feel like screaming, crying, pouting, jumping up and down, throwing things, yelling..more crying.

I feel he does not understand how much I need to get out ALONE.

Is it appropriate of me to get angry for someone who does not understand. If he truely understand, I feel this would not be an issue.

I rarely get to go anywhere without the kids. I stay at home, I may get a few hours of "quiet time" when DS2 goes to school (for 2 hours) and the baby decides to take a nap at the same time. But I cannot LEAVE.

I want to get out....out....out.....out

Growing up in a depressed environment.

I was researching the needy thing (see below). I came across a lot of stuff about depression and anger etc.

I grew up in a house with a depressed father. Pretty sure he was depressed my whole life. While growing up, we were not allowed friends over(loads of other rules) and he ruled the roost (so to speak) his way-no comprimises. So basically I grew up in his depressed state.
I can see that has mostly been how I view the world. Through the life lessons taught to me by my depressed father.

Sometimes I wish you could just call up a therapist and run shit by them, but no, you have to make an appointment, bla bla bla.

Now I consider, am I depressed? Or am I simply just living depressed? If it is the first, I suppose drugs would help. But then I get scared and think that if it is the second, WHAT THE HELL DO I DO THEN??

Can that alone MAKE me depressed? I do NOT want to pass this shitty way of thinking on to my own kids.

grumble......

How can you tell if you are being too needy...

I want a chart.

I am sick, tired, achy. Baby is sick and same. DH has decided that my need for sympathy and assistance is my problem. I have mentioned that he has hurt my feelings. Mostly I get, well it is your problem not mine.

ok

I figure if I am mentioning that MY feelings have been hurt, the human thing to do would be to at least offer some compassion or nice-ness ESPECIALLY IF IT SOMEONE YOU ARE MARRIED TO!

Is that being too needy?? Is it me. Do I need my husband to be nice to me? (I think so)